Dance with Me? Mental Health vs Boundaries - The Ultimate Dance Battle.

I was sitting on my return flight from Vegas ( we will get to that next time) and I was editing my playlist (that 4 plus hour flight requires distraction). Along the way I realized I have songs that were placed on my playlist by people that are not longer relevant to my life... I skip them as fast as I skip their 'song' on my playlist... so i started deleting those songs. Whew-chile the emotions that came up in that simple action of delete.

Feeling like the world's spinning a tad too fast? Join the club - it's called 'Pretty Much Everyone in 2024.' And we are only 13 days in.......... But here's a twist in the tale: I've found a not-so-secret weapon against the chaos - setting boundaries. And guess what? You can too!

Put your comfy dance shoes on because, I'm not just talking the talk; I'm walking the walk, right alongside you.

DJ - TJ ( that's me) is about to get started.... Let's explore how setting boundaries is like being the DJ of your own life’s party - you control the volume, the tracks, and who gets to dance on your exclusive dance floor.

The Anatomy of Anxiety: Dancing with My Not-So-Friendly Partner Ah, anxiety. It's not just a pesky thought; it's the full rave party - uninvited heart palpitations, sleepless nights, and the infamous 'dread-macarena.' You know what I mean. And with 6.8 million fellow Americans in the generalized anxiety disorder conga line, it's a pretty crowded dance floor.

But here’s my twist - meds and therapy are like my dance instructors, but setting boundaries? That's my solo freestyle move.

It's also my weakness!

Working with therapists (yes I have plural), I'm learning the choreography of managing my anxiety (we don't have time for my complex PTSD, Depression, Bi-Polar- hmpf... another day another blog), and spoiler alert: it's all about those boundary-setting dance steps.

Boundaries: My Dance Floor Rules Boundaries, my friends, are the velvet ropes of your personal club. They're not just lines in the sand; they're neon signs that flash "This is my space, and these are my rules." They're not selfish; they're self-respect with a beat.

The Science Behind Boundaries and Reduced Anxiety: DJ’ing Your Brain

• Psychological Freedom: Imagine your mind as a dance floor. Boundaries let you choose the playlist. Suddenly, you're not swaying to external pressures but grooving to your own rhythm. Research? It's my backup dancer, confirming that autonomy busts anxiety moves and cranks up the self-esteem tunes.

• Reduced Cognitive Load: Less mental clutter means more room to boogie. Fewer decisions, less drama. Think of it as turning down the noise and turning up the feel-good tracks.

• Stress Hormones: Setting boundaries tunes down the stress hormones - less cortisol, more endorphins. You're not just feeling the beat; your body's thanking you for it.

• Emotional Resilience: It's like having a bouncer for your emotions. You decide who and what gets past your velvet rope, making you a smoother, cooler dancer in the face of life’s strobe lights.

How I Set My Groovy Boundaries (And You Can Too!)

1. Self-Awareness: I spotted the party crashers - the things that drained my vibe. You can too; just keep an eye on what or who turns your party sour.

2. Effective Communication: Learning to say "Nope, not on my dance floor" was key. I use "I" statements to keep it cool and clear.

3. Consistency: Like a regular DJ gig, I check my playlist often. Are the boundaries still rocking? If not, remix time!

Examples of My Boundary Beats

• Time: Carving out a half-hour daily solo dance-off. Could be reading, could be meditating - as long as it's me-time. I am taking donations to my me-time. Gift cards for books, or heck send me a book off my Amazon Wishlist, gift cards for spa treatments, door dash and Instacart also excepted... don't have the funds?!? A night of babysitting is fully accepted to include a sleepover.

• Emotions: Limiting the doom-scrolling. Stay informed, but don't let the news hijack your dance moves.

• Work: Designating a work zone. Work stress stays in its own corner, not on the living room dance floor.

• Social: Choosing my dance partners wisely. If it's going to mess up my groove, I'm sitting it out.

• Physical: Communicating when I need space. My dance floor, my rules.

Busting Myths About Setting Boundaries: The Encore Some think setting boundaries is like stopping the music and clearing the dance floor. But it's actually about making sure the party's fun for everyone - starting with you. It's not about pushing people away; it's about inviting the right ones in.

Another rumor? That boundaries are the party poopers of relationships and work. But here's the real deal: they let you groove more meaningfully. No overcommitment, no anxiety DJ taking over your set.

Setting boundaries is my way of turning up the volume on life's best tracks. It's not weak; it's wise. It's not just for me; it's for everyone who wants to join the dance.

And remember, I'm here, not just sharing my playlist but helping you create yours. Because in the end, Life Be Life-ing and we're all just trying to find our rhythm in this wild party called life.